Enable verbose upload, and see what signature it's reading.
0x000000 as signature indicates either a wiring problem, or you bootloaded it with a board def that tells it to use a crystal, but no crystal + loading caps is present.
hansibull:
If you're using an Atmega328 (non p), you should give MiniCore a try, since it got support for the 328 and the rest of the chip family
Yup - and without having to modify avrdude.conf.