Ok well that could be part of the problem but I also know that I dont have optiboot so that could be another part... I went to that other forum post you included a link for and found this but really have no idea how do use it...
https://github.com/arduino/Arduino/blob/master/hardware/arduino/bootloaders/optiboot/optiboot_atmega328.lst
Other than that, I will try to look at the ISP code and find the baud rate and change it for now...