As you said, for outdoor use 2.4ghz transceiver would work better. I can use that then, but still I don't know how to program it to work like a hand held controller.
Have you studied the examples in the link I gave you? There are details for wiring and programs.
You have to decide what features you want on your hand controller - whether potentiometers or buttons or toggle switches or some of each. The Arduino in the hand controller then collects the data from the pots, buttons etc and sends it the Arduino in the 'copter. As far as the Arduino in the 'copter is concerned the pots and buttons might have been connected to it directly.
I have a hand unit that I use to control a model train. It has a pot for speed and a slide-switch for direction.
When you decide exactly what data you want to send we can help you get it into shape for the wireless transmission if you get stuck.
But DO NOT WASTE your time on this until you are confident that you will be able to get the autonomous part of the quadcopter working.