controlling 3x230V AC motor - relay does not respect delay times

hello, i need to control a 3x230V AC motor
i switch it on using a ''arduino 5V relay'' board which activates a 12V DC coil of a big relay.

Even without placing the motor on this ''big'' relay, the Arduino switches on the relay, which activates the coil, remains on for the requested delay. When this delay i over i digitalwrite the relaypin so it is switched off, meaning the coil of the big relay must no longer be activated....
again a delay off time is requested, but here it often, but not always goes wrong....
Often the relay is switched off=> coil is of and almost immediately the relay is been reactivated, without respecting the delay Off time..... it seems almost like the arduino gets a reset when powering down the 5V relay / coil.....
i use a separate power supply for the arduino
a second 5 V DCpower supply is used to power the 5V relay.
a other 12V DC power supply is used to activate de relay coil, which eventually will power the 1.5kW 3x230V motor...

any suggestions?
thanks
Carl
Carl

The problem is in the code you didn't post.

Or in the hardware you didn't post.

Is the coil of the "big relay" powered by 230volt AC.
If so, did you use a snubber network across the 230volt coil (or the Arduino relay contacts).
Ahh, missed that the big relay coil is 12volt.
Then you need a diode across that coil, as outsider said.
Leo..