Well, I duplicated someone else's design exactly. I'm a programmer really and this particular project is way out of my territory.
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This is my relay:
Right now I just want to see if it works in the first place. I think I might have a dead one. I connected the two close pin to ground and 5V. I set an old meter to ohms and it spikes over to 0 when you touch those two terminals, so they are definitely the coil. I small tick can be felt when you connect it to the 5V.
So I assume the circuit is closed on the other side no? Apparently, wrong. the same setting on that meter doesn't spike when touching the other two, ever. Basically, I can't get my relay to close a circuit period. I also tried plugging it up to 3 AA's... wish I had a 9V sitting around.
Grrr, I wish I was 200 miles away at my state college, because I could probably ask anyone there to explain it and have a 50/50 chance of them working it out for me 
Tomorrow or whenever I find a camera i'll just take a picture of it, it's embarrassingly simple.. so it should work... But I think tomorrow i'll try a new relay too. I didn't think relays ever got stuck open