A follow up on this, it can be abandoned for now. What I did was order more parts. So I'm going to do the ESP super cap coin cell approach but more importantly I'm going to switch the layout around for a high-side switch as TomGeorge pointed out/possibly suggested.
So I ordered a lot of random P-channel transistors ha but no I did land on one that I think will work it's the TO-220 NDP6020 which I saw in this hackaday post. Anyway I will be victorious or homeless and in tears.
It was also suggested I be a grown up and learn how to make circuits with something like Kicad so I will put some time into that, I can see the point in that.