Like PaulRB said, the connections you've tried are wrong.
You can't have two devices transmitting on the same line. Device one should transmit to the receiver line of device two, and device two should transmit to the receive line of device one.
You didn't enable the chip, either. CH_PD shouldn't be floating.
As far as I know, there aren't any 4MB versions of the ESP-03, only 0.5MB. You probably want to use QIO mode instead of DIO.
What reset circuitry are you using? Did you tie GPIO0 to ground manually while resetting/uploading?
Read more on how to connect the ESP8266 here: https://tttapa.github.io/ESP8266/Chap02 - Hardware.html
And how to program it here: https://tttapa.github.io/ESP8266/Chap06 - Uploading.html