Gender Politics

I naively believed this forum was exempt from such silliness. But I was wrong.
Gender studies was mandatory toward my 4-year lib arts degree, so I understand the runaway misguided empowerment effect it can have on a particular gender. It takes time for some to reign in their sensitivities, takes time to curb the enthusiasm and novelty, takes time to use empowerment responsibly.

I have gravely sinned, apparently, by using the wrong pronoun alongside assistance to a user's poorly described request for assistance. I commend the user for not having a blatantly female username with the expected return of greater assistance on account of the reliability of patronizing chivalry on the internet. By the same token, with zero evidence either way, it is insanely moronic to be offended by such triviality. It's as incomprehensibly aggravating as someone asking for help while giving zero details or not posting their code, and being angered that they aren't being helped.
But on top of that, coming out of left field to point out that 'erm, i'm like, actually not a he' while ignoring assistance is as obtuse as can be.
Gender becomes an issue when someone makes it an issue. And gender politics suffers when someone irrelevantly makes it an issue.

Is it considered sexist for me to say I prefer male headers on dev boards?

But seriously, I think there can be some middle ground. I like to use they/them/their pronouns. If I slip up and don't do that once in 100 posts I'd hope to get a polite correction rather than being immediately judged.

The whole thing could have gone quite differently:
OP: Please help me with this problem...
INTP: accidentally uses incorrect pronoun while trying to help
OP: I appreciate your advice but I'd like to point out that you used the incorrect pronoun.
INTP: I apologize.

See, a little bit of empathy and consideration on both sides can save so much conflict and drama. I see this so often these days where people want to see everything in black and white. You're either a Nazi or a Snowflake. The reality is much different but I suppose becoming less so as we allow ourselves to be polarized.

Is it considered sexist for me to say I prefer male headers on dev boards?

Maybe just a little gay... not that there is anything wrong with that.

i just refer to people as “it”. Dust to dust and all that, if given enough time.

"They" only works correctly if there are more than one of them.

I sometimes use s/he but I do assume that anyone who is inadvertently referred to by the wrong pronoun will be man enough to point it out without first taking offence.

IMHO something is offensive only if it is done deliberately and knowingly against the wishes of the offended person.

My name is somewhat ambiguous and some people have referred to me with the wrong pronoun. What fun.

There have been several Threads in which the OP found it more useful to taken offence than to learn when the alleged offence had nothing to do with gender. Maybe gender is just another tool to be used by that sort of person.

...R

Qdeathstar:
Maybe just a little gay…

Did you just assume my gender!!!

Actually I must admit this style has its attractions:

so I guess I swing bi.

ChrisTenone:
“They” only works correctly if there are more than one of them.

Languages are dynamic. Whether you like it or not, this change has happened. I’ve been doing this since I was way too young to know about gender politics.

Robin2:
will be man enough

Hey now…

Robin2:
My name is somewhat ambiguous and some people have referred to me with the wrong pronoun.

Same here, and I’ve never once made a big deal about it.

I’ve even benefited from the confusion. I had someone who was being very kind to, without any prompting from me, promote my work on social media, where they have a huge reach and usually charge for the service. Then I noticed it had suddenly stopped. I looked back through my history to see what I had done to offend her and noticed the trigger was when I posted a picture of myself (which I rarely do, or when I do I’m usually wearing a welding face shield). I had accidentally kicked myself out of the “girls club”.

I have gravely sinned, apparently, by using the wrong pronoun alongside assistance

Meh. I tracked down the thread in question (http://forum.arduino.cc/index.php?topic=537281.0), since the only similar notes I’ve seen have been pretty gentle reminders from someone clueful enough that they seemed unlikely to need assistance, making me curious.

It seems to me that by the time the gender issue came up, the discussion was well past the “assistance” phase and into one of the periodic “can’t you help without being a jerk?”/“people asking for help shouldn’t be so sensitive!” exchanges. Not to worry; I think we’ve long since established that less-than-kind “help” is not a “grave sin” in Arduino-land… :frowning:

Robin2:
I sometimes use s/he but I do assume that anyone who is inadvertently referred to by the wrong pronoun will be man enough to point it out without first taking offence.

Very amusing, Robin. "Man enough"?

Well if they are a woman they won't be will they?

Perhaps you should have said "person enough"? No, that doesn't work.

Our government is changing official documentation from mentioning father and mother to parent.
I have no problems with this but I hope the tax payers won’t have to pay for the rewriting of every book and all past legal documents.

Parliament is now mentioning personkind insted of mankind, oh well we they have lots of money.

Edit
And of course we have two official languages so that’s 2 X $

nickgammon:
Very amusing, Robin. "Man enough"?

As this has been mentioned twice I would like it to be clear that I did it deliberately for the humour.

...R

Very good. :slight_smile:

nickgammon:
Very amusing, Robin. “Man enough”?

Well if they are a woman they won’t be will they?

Perhaps you should have said “person enough”? No, that doesn’t work.

How about adult enough?

GoForSmoke:
How about adult enough?

I guess you missed Reply #9

...R

Yeah but you were joking about the two who the "man enough" comment was for. I just suggested a substitution as was Nick if I follow the convo at all. (beginning to doubt)

GoForSmoke:
I just suggested a substitution .

It would not have been funny or given rise to comments if I had put in an "appropriate" word. I was deliberately using an old-fashioned phrase.

...R

Throwing humor at an SJW? That's a form of violence! Your violation, even disbelief of the holy principles is a personal attack that may never be recovered from! How dare you disagree with a protected class! To disagree with one is a mortal insult to all! The Pact Shall Be Avenged! Join Pizzey in exile!