Hello,
I've already thought of most of that.
olf2012:
v1. it is annoying to have to remember to push a button to arm the alarm every time. Sooner or later you will forget to arm it.
I see your point too; but one of my previous cars got stolen, and a while ago somebody tried to steal this car as well. Having to push a button to disarm an alarm system is a minor inconvenience compared to having to deal with cops and insurance when somebody does steal your car. It's a freaking nightmare.
And besides, knowing that it's a purpose-built system that I spent weeks developing myself will outweigh that inconvenience for a tech geek like me... 
There are aftermarket alarm systems aplenty on the market, yes; but none of them really do what I have in mind. And besides, a purpose-built system will take a bit longer for somebody to figure out. Time is something car thieves don't really have, at least not when they've already made an alarm go off unexpectedly at 3am on the curb and the car stubbornly refuses to start. There's still a good number of cops around in this part of town at night, and I live only three blocks away from a major police station. And arming/disarming the system will be deliberately cryptic and not self-explanatory.
olf2012:
2. even if you deliberately do not want to arm it e. g. in your garage, you cannot be sure whether it is armed or not the next time you start your car, so you will always reach for the disarm button
I've thought of that too. I'm going to mount a small 1.5'' cone speaker which I took out of an old desktop computer on the board, and it will sound a reminder tone everytime the ignition is on "II" and the system is armed. That way, there's pretty much no way you will actually forget to disarm it before you turn it over, unless you are indeed deaf. It'll be one three-second tone not much different from the one that the lights make when you forget to turn them off ("tone()" function with "666" as pitch parameter), so that'll also, at least initially, obfuscate its significance to a car thief.
I still welcome your ideas, but I've had this whole thing in my head for a few weeks now, so I have already thought a number of things through. Which doesn't mean there can't still be gaping holes in my logic, at least I wouldn't be surprised if there were... 