MCUFRIEND_kbv should work out of the box.
TFT_eSPI should work with User_Setup as described.
First off, I would verify that the Shield works with a Uno.
This involves plugging the Shield into the header sockets.
All the male pins should mate with the corresponding female sockets.
Verify that you actually have an ILI9341 controller.
Use LCD_ID_readreg sketch on the Uno.
Then connect to the ESP32 and run LCD_ID_readreg sketch (with your defines)
David.