help to choose right device and program

Hello,
I don’t know is it right place to send this subject.
I am looking for something that help me to simulate my project, I am thinking of using starter kits or anything else. I need to know what and where I need to start.
I appreciate for any help or suggestion for any part.
About project
I have some device inside house want to connected to RFID Reader in order to get permission from server actually RFID reader work as key . All devices are connected to one database say 100 miles away from house (what is best option?). Then all device should Send / Receive information from server to be updated any time without getting permission from RFID Card that user carry.
For connection to server possible way (Wireless, landline, Sending Text,etc)
Server could send and receive data from more than one house and could identify data from each other (I mean data was received from which house) then analyse data also check time and how many hours user used RFID Card and device. There is another server that store RFID Card information this server send verification to main server that give permission to device inside house if this card was register in server can use device otherwise system do not allow user to use device .
After this I would like to connect mobile phone to server again these two are sending and receiving information to each other, also user can even can control device from anywhere.
I have to say thank you for reading my topic.

Do you know how to program a server?

For starters, get 2 arduino uno, two ethernet shields and rfid hardware. Use one uno+ethernet as server and the other as client (with rfid reader). Your project seems complex but you can do one part at a time.

Thanks for your comment

No I don't no about server but I am thinking to connect main server to another server like bank or another company .

about programming I haven't used Arduino before and it's my first time .

You picked an ambitious project.