How to differentiate between Ir transmitter/recv

I just want to flash the IR LED (on in 13) to make that happen

No you will need an IR LED to make it happen, the viable LED will blink so fast that it will look like it is on all the time.

Thats the Hex IR Code to turn it on

Still not sure what this is, is it a list of flashing timings, if so it would be called data not code.

Do you know the frequency of modulation for your remote? You need to flash the LED at this rate and then on top of that turn the flashing LED on and off quickly.

Have a look at these links:-
http://www.arduino.cc/playground/Code/InfraredReceivers

http://www.arduino.cc/cgi-bin/yabb2/YaBB.pl?num=1232316708/7