Seems that you have a problem with the flash enable circuit, or a defective module.
As you can connect to the D1, the ESP32 module itself ought to be active.
I used the same parameters in the IDE, except the programmer which is not relevant. No need to push the button.
If you want to go on trying to make it work, here are a few hints.
You can find a schematic of a D1 mini esp32 here:
If you want to try to manually enable the flash using an external circuit, search for 'esp32 boot enable'.
There you find descriptions of how to wire an ESP32 for manual flash enable using two push buttons etc.
It works using a bare ESP32.