and would like to use them if I can, but idk if its possible. If it is could someone help me figure out the wiring. If it isn't I would really appreciate some advice on the simplest/easiest way to control this actuator with an arduino.
also the actuator is 12v and has a max draw of 4.8 amps
Yes, but you need 2 power supplies. You can connect the low side to ground, and connect the high side to the relays, one relay to +12V and one to -12V. Make sure you never turn both relays on at once, and remember it takes milliseconds for a relay to turn off.
I'm not sure if your actuator is wired like a regular DC motor. You can control a motor fwd and backwards with one double-pole-double-throw relay. I guess you would need a second relay for on/off. And you would only need one power supply.
hmm two power sources is not something I want to do. I guess the dpdt relay may be a viable option. Although after both relays and the wiring and time soldering I wonder if I should just buy this?: Pololu - VNH5019 Motor Driver Carrier
You'll have a LOT less trouble and more control over the motor, if you use the Pololu motor driver. The contacts on relays tend to arc and burn out when controlling large DC currents.