Thank y'all for your help! I found the issue!
solution:
"If you are using the DTR pin to connect to the Reset pin you are connecting to the wrong side of the capacitor. You also have your Reset button on the wrong side of the capacitor. See the Arduino UNO schematic. The 'DTR' line is for serial upload with the bootloader. For ISP programming you have to connect directly to the Reset/PC6 pin."
from this thread: Device signature = 0x000000 when burning bootloader to custom PCB