The simplest way might be to use an Arduino with a 28-pin DIL socket as a programmer, and then swap the chip to your own board. If you don't mind re-thinking the programming arrangements, then yes, an AVR In-System Programmer will do it. I use the old serial version of the AVR-ISP, which connects to the six-pin header on an AVR board.
As for the crystal, yes, it's 16MHz. The case style is HC49,but make sure you get the low-profile variant. You'll also need a pair of 22pf capacitors, and suitable decoupling caps.