2: I'm running Windows 7, with Arduino IDE. I tried AVR Studio, but was completely overwhelmed.
3: Are you referring to switching the drivers to Arduino's library? If so, I've already done that. If not, please explain what you mean, as I am completely lost at this point.
4+: As I requested, I'm looking for someone who can walk me through this, as I no longer understand how to proceed.
@SirNickity: There really isn't a circuit diagram I'm following. Everything I've read was pretty straight forward (connect MISO, etc from programmer to MISO on chip, connect VCC and GND). Beyond that, aside from a 10k resistor pulling the Resets high, I understood from the material here that the chip has a clock already and that I might not need a crystal.