New to Arduino. Input for project idea

So I'm new to the arduino gang, and have a pretty basic electronics background (been about 8 years since I had to actually do anything with it, but now that I can afford school, I need to brush up.) I have a car lighting setup right now, and am constantly upgrading it. My engineer buddy put me onto arduino, and I think this is the way to go, but any input would be great. I am a DIY'er, and definitely wanting to learn and expand.

I am looking at doing a lighting management system. Would be 16 or so (maybe more if I can make it work) "zones", (footwells, the fiber optics I have in my doors/headliner, exterior, cup holders, other stuff I have added.) Right now, its all wired and relayed to a single ON or OFF button. I would like to be able to control each individually, or all at once, including maybe even a fade in/out "breathing" option, flash, or some other cool stuff. Also looking to do a separate set of LED's that "twinkle" (like a fake candle) to emulate a starfield. I have my doors and headliner done with fiber optic stars (took forever) and I want to make a few twinkle randomly just to give it that extra...something. I also have some audio-controlled lighting, and he is using a spectrum analyzer to do it. Of course its 12v lighting, so there's that. I was gonna use a 16 channel 12v relay I found online, but the relays can't fade, so that's out. I am not using RGB, just 2 single colors. I have different length strips and single 12 LED's throughout. I was looking at the annikken Bluetooth setup, but I also came across a youtube playlist that has more or less what im looking for, all from an OLED setup with menus and submenus. I've been trolling forums and researching a bit, and decided to jump in.

I bought the ebay version of the mega 2560 (if I fry it, I can swallow the $13 total), and all the various jumpers, bread board, single led's to practice, a few shift registers, and resistors. I'm not so much looking for people to do everything for me, so much as if you have any stand-out tutorials or pages that might help, and of course, if this is gonna be feasible. I'm definitely excited to get this done, and the car all rewired, again. I know its gonna be a bit of work, but the image I have in my head is definitely worth it. Any input, advice, words of warning, let's hear it.

If you want to do timing of events you need to learn how to use millis() for timing. The technique is illustrated in the demo Several Things at a Time.

You may also find some useful ideas in Planning and Implementing a Program

...R