Optiboot onto a custom 328P & FT232RQ problem

I'm having no luck getting my custom board with the 328P & FT232RQ to accept a sketch. The setup is:

-using the 1.0.5 IDE -installed the [optiboot] Arduino Pro or Pro Mini (3.3V, 8Mhz) w/ Atmega328 with the AVRtinyISP through the IDE -total success installing the Arduino Pro or Pro Mini (3.3V, 8Mhz) w/ Atmega328 with the AVRtinyISP through the IDE so the hardware and programmer are all fine.

When I try and upload a sketch it pauses and then I see an error.

Double check your rx/tx signals wiring. Do you have the dtr signal wired to mcu's reset via a 100nF capacitor?

Please read the 4th line of my post.

How is the 4th line of your post related to your problem?