On the Mega the SS pin that needs to be in mode OUTPUT is pin 53.
do you think I will have to use one?
According to the datasheet: yes. You might have already damaged the chip.
I assumed the arduino could handle 3v3 logic as it has outputs with 3.3V.
On the SPI bus only MISO is an input (which usually tolerates 3.3V), all other pins are outputs and provide a 5V level.