I purchased Two RFBEE's from SEEDSTUDIO and i am having a HECK of a time programming to to control a RELAY SHIELD, I am using a SEEDSTUDIO XBEE SHIELD i purchased from Radio Shack. To the best of my understanding, the RFBEE becomes a slave with the ICSP, but i am not sure if i am programming the ATMEG168 on the RFBEE or the Arduino Uno!!! There is lack of documentation online for this, I want to be able to use the RF functionality of the RFBEE To trigger the relays on the shield! How do i go about using the MEGA to program the RFBEE 168?
i purchased from Radio Shack.
Shopping at radio shlock was your first mistake.
Your second was that none of your links work. That would be the easier problem to correct.
XBees are a known quantity here. RFBees are not.
It is not clear why you think that the Arduino needs to "program the RFBee" instead of "communicate with the RFBee".