I thought (and see) globalVariableExample = digitalRead(meaningfulNamePin); store it into the global variable.
You are storing the value returned by digitalRead() into a variable that MIGHT be global. The digitalRead() function does not. It returns a value. Your functions should, too.
And I add them all in one because that's the only way I know to determine what is what in processing,
Processing has no idea that you used one Serial.print() statement.
because in processing I will split it every ", "
You can send a value in one print statement, and a comma in another. Processing will treat the stream however you define.