where DTR comes in the serial port, is handled by the max232 and sent to the avr, I am seeing some weirdness that is causing a not in sync error (using ubuntu)
looking on my scope I can see the reset pin pulled high to 5 volts, I can see the reset pulse come in, then about 150ms later the reset line is pulled low and remains low for the entire duration of the attempted upload
How about the 10K ohm pull-up resistor on the reset pin?
You shouldn't have the reset being pulled low for so long, if you have the right capacitor and pull up resistor values on the reset pin. Can you double check the values? Or look for possible shorts on the capacitor?
I guess I am misunderstanding what you are saying about the reset pulse. I am hearing that the reset drops low and stays low. Am I hearing this wrong? This would be true for ICSP programming but for serial uploads the bootloader should be running. Or am I missing something?
reset stays high, drops low for ~64ms, goes back high and 150 ms later drops low and stays there until the computer stops trying to upload, then returns to high
Very strange indeed, with the proper capacitor and pull-up resistor this behavior should not be happening. It could be a bad capacitor or short somewhere between the DTR and reset pin. With the reset (active low signal) being kept low it will keep the processor in reset mode which is causing the upload failures. I am not following you when you say it looks perfect?