You would need to search for a datasheet. Find the pinout of the ribbon cable.
You normally need some external electronics e.g. for the backlight
Seriously, it is much safer to buy a ready made 40-pin display. You can buy a 40-pin Adapter Shield for Mega2560 or Due.
The ESP32 does not have many GPIO pins. Enough for SPI or 8080-8 parallel interface. Never enough for 8080-16.
I suspect that you cannot access the IM# pins. In which case you can't select 8080-8 or SPI interface modes.
Here we go. PDF manual
No way to control in software. You have to provide the required Clock and RGB video signals.