Low blow Chris, I will not get involved for your sake - don't want to make your inferiority complex any worse 
I think I have caught up, camera & flash working, took out resistors on the input side of opto and replaced with jumpers, guess there was enough resistance in my optocouplers.
Infrared going through the motions but why doesnt it hang waiting for ir signal?
Intervalometer working, still no joy on either sound or light which is a worry as we only have 3 inputs, 2 of which don't work 3rd yet to be tested.
Any joy your end?
Simon