Yap. I was just reading Ladyada's "Burning fuses" tutorial - using avrdude command line as well...
To prevent my 328 from damaging, I guess it is safe to use fuse settings from boards.txt, right? Uno is the closest match:
uno.bootloader.low_fuses=0xff
uno.bootloader.high_fuses=0xde
uno.bootloader.extended_fuses=0x05
uno.bootloader.unlock_bits=0x3F
uno.bootloader.lock_bits=0x0F
Setting low fuses to 0xFF matches 16 MHz external crystal and longest start up time - my goal!
OK, lets continue tomorrow - bedtime here. Guys, thanks a lot for great info so far.