it is - it is an 168 from a Duemilanove.
The other 'problem' might be that i use a prolific USB-Serial adapter, that i stripped from my old wired GPS (4 lines: 5V, GND, the TX and - i think - a RX)
Like some way to reset the arduino at a certain moment?
Yes if you have no auto reset circuit you have to press the reset button just after you click the download icon. There is a nack to getting it right and it usually takes a couple of tries before it works.