if i just have the anode connected to he coil, it works...if just the cathode is connected...it works...but as soon as both are connected...it stops working...but in the same breadboarded circuit..no problems.
Well that leaves the state where you connect both anode and cathode but in the reverse direction that they were connected. If a diode is installed backwards across the coil terminals, it will act like a direct short when the coil voltage is applied, relay won't work and lots of current will be attempted to be pulled from the voltage source, possibly damaging whatever the voltage source is. If that's not it, then test to be sure you don't have a shorted diode.
Also I really like when people post their wiring in schmatic form, just as our software gurus demand to see the code before they try and help people with their software problems.
Lefty