Time delay relay circuit?

Hello, I am trying to get a time delayed relay circuit working. I almost have it working, but just cant figure out one part.

To keep things simple, I am just working with a source voltage of 19v, a relay (220 ohm coil I think), a capacitor of 3300ufd and a resistor of 10k.

If I wire the +19v to the resistor, series to the + of the capacitor, then the - of the capacitor to ground, I have my desired effect. I get a voltage across the capacitor pins that ramps up over several seconds. It's this circuit: RC time constant / voltage calcultor

The problem is, when I connect the relay across the capacitor, it does not ramp up (or very little). It's as if the relay is draining, or maybe it's the resistance.

I am not sure how to account for this, am hoping someone can help, thanks.

Hint. A relay is certainly a discharge path... this is where you need to insert a device that will not try to discharge the cap faster than you can charge it... you need to replace the low impedance load with a high impedance load. A semiconductor or IC could help with that.

http://www.talkingelectronics.com/projects/200TrCcts/101-200TrCcts.html#16AB

So it looks like the key is the transistor, which looks like it cuts off the relay, until enough voltage builds up to trigger the transistor to flow, correct?

In each, I see there is a diode across the relay. Is that protective, or is that contributing to the delay function?