hey thanks for all the replies. ok so i fixed the timing...but i don't understand why it works. basically the startup time changed by 2 seconds after I put in the decoupling capacitors. in the startup() i had a delay of 5500 to allow a digital video frame to boot up....now i changed that 5500 to 3500 and everything is rock solid.
but i'm timing this all based on how the atmega circuit is in sync with a digital video frame. it's very cold in my studio now...could the cold have anything to do with startup time? maybe it was the video frame that started up faster and the arduino was actually the same the whole time? unlikely i know....but just thought i'd ask. anyway...everything seems to be running very smoothly now. here is a terrible fritzing of my circuit...i still haven't got down the schematics view section of fritzing:
2 of the .1 caps next to the motors are actually soldered onto the body of the motor. i got that idea from here: Pololu - 9. Dealing with Motor Noise