The chip I have didn't come with a bootloader, but after quite a lot of messing around I think I have successfully installed a bootloader on it - When i press the reset button, the pin-13 LED flashes a couple of times, so i think that means the bootloader is probably installed ok?
Did you install the correct bootloader. Have a look at this article http://arduino.cc/en/Tutorial/ArduinoISP it may help (assuming you have not already used it)
When trying to upload a sketch, I've tried pushing the reset button, and leaving a delay of bewteen 0 and 10 seconds before clicking upload in the IDE, but that doesn't make any difference.
If you have installed a more modern bootloader that expects auto reset from the programmer then timing might be an issue. Old bootloaders would wait upto 8 seconds for serial programming data but the newer ones only a second or two.
One thing about my FTDI cable - most seem to come with 6 wires, and the picture of mine had 6 wires when I ordered it. However, mine has 7 wires, so i connected up 6 according to the colors in the diagram, and left the blue one free. Maybe that's a problem?
Do you have a link to the FTDI device, a picture of what you have or a list of what the pins are named? (I.E. Tx,Rx,Vcc,Gnd,RTS,DTR)