For Duemilanove boards you should only need to add a 120 ohm resistor between RESET and 5V. Focus your attention on the second section ("The simple way..."). Permanently disabling auto-reset is not required.
I noticed those lines in ArduinoISP: #define LED_HB 9 #define LED_ERR 8 #define LED_PMODE 7
Should I change those to 11,12,13 or should I use DIGITAL lines 7,8,9 instead of 11,12 and 13?
Those are signals that can connect to status LEDs, not the same as the 11/12/13 pins actually used by ISP programming. You don't need to connect them, and they don't need to be changed.