as nobody reply on the audio forum and the only answer i got from the adafruit forum was'nt really helpfull, i hope someone may got an idea here, about interacting with an adafruit mp3 shield and some ir remote.. Adafruit_VS1053.h and Wire.h on Arduino UNO R3 - Audio - Arduino Forum
I don't think multiple posting is doing you any favours, someone will be along soon ...
I read the post and could really understand whats gonig on.
As a general rule:
break your porject down into smaller pieces - get the MP3 thing working as you want it, the start adding other bits. when it stops worknig you can then more easily find the fault .
If you know how, write each "bit" as a function , "loop" will just call each in turn.