Use digital pin,both as input and outpout,without always reconfiging the pinMode

paul_B. did you not tried to understand my problem at all, or did you tried and just failed??
let me explain it to you , to as a base level as it can get...

the motor needs 12v to operate, and has 2 terminalas(A,b) . depending on how you wire the 12v, it rolls the window up or down. so in order to do this, you have two relays, with 2 channel each.
one relay gives 12v to terminal a, and GND to b. the other gives 12v to terminal b and GND to a.

in my current build, the relays are operated in that way :
constant 5v to the coil, and the GND path is interupted by an NPN transistor. so, when you bias the base of the transistor, the relay gets energized. you can do that on 2 ways :

  1. using the rocker switch (ilustrated with the two pushbuttons on my schemantic)
    2)the Adrduino gives 5v to the base. (When you press enother button, on my pc screen, which comunicates with the arduino via serial) ..

SO if arduino biases the one NPN transistor, and the driver biases the other via the power window switch, terminal a and b of the motor , will short circuit. this why i am looking for a way, to make it impossible for the one relay to energize, if the other is energized. all that for one window. another 2 relays etc for the other window.
now do you understand?