As a first vid I think it is ok, the music isn't too bad as it has no words but maybe it wants to be slightly quieter still.
I think you need to do a bit of video editing to speed up steps. I would recommend videoing first and then commentating. I am glad you stopped umming later on but as a first vid this can be forgiven at the start. I think this would also be better if commentating was added at the end.
I would recommend something like a list of tools and parts at the start so people know what they need. I like it where you just 'get another tool'! 
Overall I think that you have a good grasp of what kind of things you need to do to improve and I'm sure that watching your video a few times tells you a lot about what to improve next time.
Anyway yeah keep it up, I think you could do some great ones in the future
its just so darn rare that I get to slide in a joke on the UK
I'll smite thee 
Mowcius