Where did all my memory go?

There is something very confusing about the file organization under OSX. Since it has been over 25 years since I last looked at a Unix system, I am left in an undefined state. For example, the 'var' directory is not visible in the Finder, so a search of *.elf does not reveal any files. If I open a terminal session, I can cd /var, which does work. So I finally end up in the right directory, and I go to run the avr-nm app. As expected, it is not in the path. But I can fix that. So where is it? Finder can't find it! Apparently "on this Mac" has a meaning of which I have been previously unaware. What I would like to do is find the tool(s) I need to run them on every build. In the platform.txt file, I see macros like NM defined to be avr-nm, which would make this easy, but I don't know how to add my own steps to the/a build script. So why are these various files inaccesible to Finder? Should it be renamed "Loser" because it loses track of important files?

I have not been part of the Unix or gcc ecosystem in 25 years. My experience with the OSX ecosystem is not much more than one year, and that is the length of my experience with the Arduino ecosystem. So there is a vast body of folklore that I do not know, and which is not obvious to someone accustomed to file systems in which every file is visible to the owner of the machine.

The main reason for using the Arduino IDE and not the Atmel IDE is that I need to maintain compatibility with the expected user base, who use the Arduino IDE.
joe