Managed to get it with TFT_eSPI, the pins were redefined in user_setup.h
Its at the bottom and needs the define for ESP32 PARALLEL uncommented along with the pin defines below that.
The only detail I was able to recognize, from the readreg() , was the 9486 value.
It came from this lootbox style kit https://www.instructables.com/id/HackerBox-0053-Chromalux/ (see step 3 for image of my board, only accurate one I've seen)
Was meant to just jam it into a UNO and call it done, didnt want to. Prefer smaller boards.
3.5inch Arduino Display-UNO - LCD wiki is the documentation they offered for it, got misdirected a lot trying to match up details and searching.
Mine works now, 8 data pins have to be below pin 31, 5 others for CS/WR/RD/RST/RS doesnt seem to matter where they went(on my heltec board). Just wanted to give the details for any wanderers later.
Screen seems fast and its shiny+bright, seems pretty decent so far.
That is the board I connected it to^