Xbee Problems-PLEASE HELP PLEASE!!!

Lol. this Xbee thing is giving me more of a headache than i initially thought. Well, what i am trying to do is get 2 xbees to talk to one another. The first xbee is in the xbee shield. And the other xbee is connected to the microcontroller on a breadboard. Both xbees are recieing power and have green lights indicating they are alive. Now I downloaded X-CTU and I can preform a Read command and all of the data comes up correctly. However, I am unable to preofrm a write command to Update the Verson. When i try to do this i get

Getting modem type....OK
Programming modem...Lost communication with modem
Write Parameters...Failed

Also when I try to preform a range test in X-CTU I cant seem to get any infromation. When I start the test i only get

Timeout waiting for data
Timeout waiting for data

Finally, im sure I have connected everything correctly according to the ladayfruit.com website. Please help me!!

You're getting an error because you need hardware flow control to write firmware and you don't have that with the Arduino. You can fake it by wiring:

RTS (pin 16) => 3.3V (pin 1)
DTR (pin 9) => GND (pin 10)

This worked for me and others have had success as well. It's best however to use something like this SparkFun XBee Explorer USB - WRL-11812 - SparkFun Electronics for firmware updates

take a look at this thread for more info http://www.arduino.cc/cgi-bin/yabb2/YaBB.pl?num=1204645075/2#2

Andrew