Can't make simple 2-way nrf24l01 code to work. Examples work fine, so shouldn't be a hardware issue

May I suggest Robin2's simple rf24 tutorial. It helped me to get my radios to work. There is a part that covers shifting roles and example code.

Pay attention to the part about powering the radios. Probably the number one issue is insufficient power.

2 way comm also can be established with a master/slave setup using the ack payload. That is the way that I used them.