button cycled NeoPixel on Digispark ATtiny85

Any suggestions on how to stop a "for loop" or "for loops" nested together when I press a button?

Yes you don't write them in the first place, unless you want to do a lot of things in one step and there is no delay in it. Nesting them is bad.

You need to write your code as a state machine, what you have at the moment is not one because it contains for loops.

This examples shows you how to do this for all the standard Adafruit patterns.

// StrandTest from AdaFruit implemented as a state machine
// pattern change by push button
// By Mike Cook Jan 2016
// Fade function added Sept 2017

#define PINforControl   4 // pin connected to the small NeoPixels strip
#define NUMPIXELS1      64 // number of LEDs on strip

#include <Adafruit_NeoPixel.h>
Adafruit_NeoPixel strip = Adafruit_NeoPixel(NUMPIXELS1, PINforControl, NEO_GRB + NEO_KHZ800);

unsigned long patternInterval = 20 ; // time between steps in the pattern
unsigned long lastUpdate = 0 ; // for millis() when last update occoured
unsigned long intervals [] = { 20, 20, 50, 100, 30 } ; // speed for each pattern - add here when adding more cases 
int fadeStep = 0; // stste variable for fade function
int numberOfCases = 4; // how many case statements or patterns you have
const byte button = 3; // pin to connect button switch to between pin and ground

void setup() {
  strip.begin(); // This initializes the NeoPixel library.
  wipe(); // wipes the LED buffers
  pinMode(button, INPUT_PULLUP); // change pattern button
}

void loop() {
  static int pattern = 4, lastReading; // start with the fade function
  int reading = digitalRead(button);
  if(lastReading == HIGH && reading == LOW){
    pattern++ ; // change pattern number
    fadeStep = 0; // reset the fade state variable
    if(pattern > numberOfCases) pattern = 0; // wrap round if too big
    patternInterval = intervals[pattern]; // set speed for this pattern
    wipe(); // clear out the buffer
    delay(50); // debounce delay
  }
  lastReading = reading; // save for next time

if(millis() - lastUpdate > patternInterval) updatePattern(pattern);
}

void  updatePattern(int pat){ // call the pattern currently being created
  switch(pat) {
    case 0:
        rainbow();
        break;
    case 1:
        rainbowCycle();
        break;
    case 2:
        theaterChaseRainbow();
        break;
    case 3:
         colorWipe(strip.Color(255, 0, 0)); // red
         break; 
         
    case 4:
         fade(0,255, 0,64, 0,0, 400); // fade from black to oraange and back
         break;                  
  } 
}

void fade(int redStartValue, int redEndValue, int greenStartValue, int greenEndValue, int blueStartValue, int blueEndValue, int totalSteps) {
static float redIncrement, greenIncrement, blueIncrement;
static float red, green, blue;
static boolean fadeUp = false;

if (fadeStep == 0){ // first step is to initialise the initial colour and increments
  red = redStartValue;
  green = greenStartValue;
  blue = blueStartValue;
  fadeUp = false;

  redIncrement = (float)(redEndValue - redStartValue) / (float)totalSteps;
  greenIncrement = (float)(greenEndValue - greenStartValue) / (float)totalSteps;
  blueIncrement = (float)(blueEndValue - blueStartValue) / (float)totalSteps;
  fadeStep = 1; // next time the function is called start the fade
}
else { // all other steps make a new colour and display it
  // make new colour
  red += redIncrement;
  green +=  greenIncrement;
  blue += blueIncrement;
 
  // set up the pixel buffer
  for (int i = 0; i < strip.numPixels(); i++) {
  strip.setPixelColor(i, strip.Color((int)red,(int)green,(int)blue));
  }
 // now display it
  strip.show();
fadeStep += 1; // go on to next step
if(fadeStep >= totalSteps) { // finished fade
  if(fadeUp){ // finished fade up and back
     fadeStep = 0;
     return; // so next call recalabrates the increments 
  }
  // now fade back
  fadeUp = true;
  redIncrement = -redIncrement;
  greenIncrement = -greenIncrement;
  blueIncrement = -blueIncrement;
  fadeStep = 1; // don't calculate the increments again but start at first change
}
 }
}

void rainbow() { // modified from Adafruit example to make it a state machine
  static uint16_t j=0;
    for(int i=0; i<strip.numPixels(); i++) {
      strip.setPixelColor(i, Wheel((i+j) & 255));
    }
    strip.show();
     j++;
  if(j >= 256) j=0;
  lastUpdate = millis(); // time for next change to the display
 
}
void rainbowCycle() { // modified from Adafruit example to make it a state machine
  static uint16_t j=0;
    for(int i=0; i< strip.numPixels(); i++) {
      strip.setPixelColor(i, Wheel(((i * 256 / strip.numPixels()) + j) & 255));
    }
    strip.show();
  j++;
  if(j >= 256*5) j=0;
  lastUpdate = millis(); // time for next change to the display
}

void theaterChaseRainbow() { // modified from Adafruit example to make it a state machine
  static int j=0, q = 0;
  static boolean on = true;
     if(on){
            for (int i=0; i < strip.numPixels(); i=i+3) {
                strip.setPixelColor(i+q, Wheel( (i+j) % 255));    //turn every third pixel on
             }
     }
      else {
           for (int i=0; i < strip.numPixels(); i=i+3) {
               strip.setPixelColor(i+q, 0);        //turn every third pixel off
                 }
      }
     on = !on; // toggel pixelse on or off for next time
      strip.show(); // display
      q++; // update the q variable
      if(q >=3 ){ // if it overflows reset it and update the J variable
        q=0;
        j++;
        if(j >= 256) j = 0;
      }
  lastUpdate = millis(); // time for next change to the display   
}

void colorWipe(uint32_t c) { // modified from Adafruit example to make it a state machine
  static int i =0;
    strip.setPixelColor(i, c);
    strip.show();
  i++;
  if(i >= strip.numPixels()){
    i = 0;
    wipe(); // blank out strip
  }
  lastUpdate = millis(); // time for next change to the display
}


void wipe(){ // clear all LEDs
     for(int i=0;i<strip.numPixels();i++){
       strip.setPixelColor(i, strip.Color(0,0,0));
       }
}

uint32_t Wheel(byte WheelPos) {
  WheelPos = 255 - WheelPos;
  if(WheelPos < 85) {
    return strip.Color(255 - WheelPos * 3, 0, WheelPos * 3);
  }
  if(WheelPos < 170) {
    WheelPos -= 85;
    return strip.Color(0, WheelPos * 3, 255 - WheelPos * 3);
  }
  WheelPos -= 170;
  return strip.Color(WheelPos * 3, 255 - WheelPos * 3, 0);
}

Not sure if I ask really good questions or really bad questions

Very bad, difficult to read - used a Fritzing diagram (always bad), long and rambling difficult to understand - showed code as a screen dump meaning impossible for us to recreate