Problem uploading sketch using Xbee

Hi!

I am trying to upload sketches wirelessly to an Arduino Uno. I have been following https://www.instructables.com/id/Wireless-Programming-of-Arduino/.

but instead of a SparkFun XBee Explorer Regulated I use a Foca v2.2 and use the pins rx, tx, gnd, vcc and DIO3 on the recieving side.

So far I am able to communicate i.e. if I send a number over the serial port on the computer i can read it on the serial port on the microcontroller. But when i try to upload the sketch I get

"

 System wide configuration file is "C:\Program Files (x86)\Arduino\hardware\tools\avr/etc/avrdude.conf"

         Using Port                    : COM8
         Using Programmer              : arduino
         Overriding Baud Rate          : 57600
avrdude: stk500_recv(): programmer is not responding
avrdude: stk500_getsync() attempt 1 of 10: not in sync: resp=0x5f
avrdude: stk500_recv(): programmer is not responding

"

since I am able to send and recieve serially it makes me believe there must be a problem on the recieving side. I connected rx,tx, gnd and vcc. I also made the special reset solution where i connected DIO 3 from the Xbee to the transistor base, the collector to collector and gnd to the emittor according to

https://cdn.instructables.com/F2Y/YDY4/HPOWCXSK/F2YYDY4HPOWCXSK.MEDIUM.jpg

Does anyone know what to do? Do I need to connect more pins on the receiving side?