I chose the libraries based on this tutorial. I was just using different pins since my ESP is different.
update: to get TFT_eSPI to work with ESP32S3 using ESP32 core 3.3.4 in the TFT_eSPI setup include
#define USE_HSPI_PORT // << required otherwise ESP32S3 goes into reboot loop
e.g. file Setup70b_ESP32_S3_ILI9341.h
// Setup for the ESP32 S3 with ILI9341 display
// Note SPI DMA with ESP32 S3 is not currently supported
#define USER_SETUP_ID 70
// See SetupX_Template.h for all options available
#define ILI9341_DRIVER
#define USE_HSPI_PORT // << required otherwise ESP32S3 goes into reboot loop
#define TFT_CS SS // 10
#define TFT_MOSI MOSI // 11
#define TFT_SCLK SCK // 12
#define TFT_MISO MISO // 13
#define TFT_DC 9
#define TFT_RST 4
//#define TOUCH_CS 16 // Optional for touch screen
#define LOAD_GLCD
#define LOAD_FONT2
#define LOAD_FONT4
#define LOAD_FONT6
#define LOAD_FONT7
#define LOAD_FONT8
#define LOAD_GFXFF
#define SMOOTH_FONT
// FSPI (or VSPI) port (SPI2) used unless following defined. HSPI port is (SPI3) on S3.
//#define USE_HSPI_PORT
//#define SPI_FREQUENCY 27000000
#define SPI_FREQUENCY 40000000 // Maximum for ILI9341
#define SPI_READ_FREQUENCY 6000000 // 6 MHz is the maximum SPI read speed for the ST7789V
#define SPI_TOUCH_FREQUENCY 2500000