There isn't (in theory) and there is (in practice).
There is no difference between theory and practice. If one is apparently seen then it is because the theory has been simplified to such an extent that it is wrong.
I have used capacitors (some times electrolytics) of 4.7uf on high speed digital circuits with no ill effect.
If this is decoupling capacitors then no you won't see any ill effects, it is just that there will be reduced / no beneficial effects.
So in theory, the bigger a decoupling cap, the better off you are.
No that is over simplifying it. Some components like low voltage drop out regulators can become unstable with too much decoupling capacitance. Also some DC / DC converters will not start up if there is too much decoupling. It also can produce a switch on current surge that can trip circuit breakers or blow fuses.
However, bigger caps tend to be electrolytic capacitors that have high ESR / ESL, making them slow in delivering such charges.
No the ESR is only of interest in cases of ripple current, it is not a figure you can apply to a DC discharge.
If too high capacitance causes frequency responce response to suffer, why would adding more capacitance helps?
Because you have two capacitors. At high frequencies the big one looks like an inductor and has a high reactance and so is doing nothing for you, but the small one has a low reactance and so is shorting out the interference. Where as at low frequencies the small capacitor does nothing for you but the big one can absorb the ripple.
tantalum are rubbish for decoupling. So are most electrolytics.
They are both good for bulk decoupling, the low frequency stuff. However, tantalum capacitors used in power supply decoupling are a fire hazard as when they fail they tend to fail short circuit and burst into flames. That is why you won't get UL approval on a system using tantalum capacitors on a power supply.